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Darth Maul Sonnets

A Sonnet for Obi Wan on Valentine's Day

How do I hate thee,
Let me count the ways

I hate thee for thy Jedi clothes
I hate thee for the way you pose
Your hands are folded peacefully
You stand there steady like a tree

You do not cry when I attack
You parry every slash and hack
Your blade is blue while mine is red
I hate you cause you are not dead

Your master fell so easily.
You piss me off, can you not see?
I hate you now with all my might
I hate you cause I'm half your height.

A Sonnet for My Wife, Maulina

Shall I compare thee to a Jedi Knight?
Thou art less temperate and not as dead.
Your devilish looks that make men fight
Your large tattoos and horny head.

Twas long ago when we first met.
That stinky meadow on Alderaan.
Don't worry dear, now do not fret,
That planet soon will be long gone.

Our hearts were filled with newfound love
Our hands were filled with beating hearts
For being Sith we don't keep doves
Instead we both keep Jedi parts.

Now I have work, I won't be long
I've got to go kill Obi Wan